“God, I never thought of it like that.”“I bet your dad did. I bet as you told him what happened, he sat there thinking of what he’d like to do with the bastards who raped his little girl.”She went quiet for a long time. At least, it felt like a long time. Finally, she said, “Anyway, I ... I wanted to thank you. I wouldn’t have said anything to my parents if it wasn’t for you.” She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “You’re a—”“Don’t. Don’t say what I think you’re going to say.”She smiled. “Well, you are.”“So, what happens now? Are you going to the police?”“Daddy says it’s not worth it. I’ve washed and stuff since Saturday, obviously, and apart from my arm there’s no other sign of anything having happened. It’d be my word against theirs and there were four of them to back up each other’s stories.”I ground my teeth together. “You mean they’re going to get away with it?”“What can I say? What can I do?”“It just makes me so ... They shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this.”“True, but I. He loved his mom and she seemed to be a good mom, though I’ve never met her. I knew she was a fitness trainer and that he had lost his dad many years ago when he was young. He was a fine young man. I thought that maybe I could take her place but I couldn’t. That hurt me a little bit but I understood that I wasn’t her.I thought about what I should say because he was looking to me for advice or maybe just approval. What could I say, ‘have sex with your own mother?’ but he really cared for her. I could tell.“Jake” I began, “I know it’s wrong for most people but what I’ve been doing is wrong too…so I can’t judge you and say not to…do anything. I…I’ve learned that you have to be true to who you are on the inside and not be ashamed of it.” and that was true. I was a slut and I learned to accept and enjoy it. I fucked men for money and sometimes I fucked men for enjoyment. I did crazy things with men, such slutty things…I’d been with women, been with several men, had men push me.
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